Saturday, 05 February 2011 13:30

A Real Snus Review - 2011 Releases not all Great

Written by R.W Hubbard
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Hello ladies and gents. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a column here at SC, but we’ve been busy as sin trying to get the new issue of the Ephemeris up and running. I’mGet the next issue of Snuff Taker's Ephemeris or you won't know stuff putting the finishing touches on it now, but I wanted to take a few minutes to comment on some of the new snus that has come out since my last column. I know that I normally don’t do reviews or anything, but I just had to get some of this off my chest.

First: the good. Jägarpris from AG Snus is the first new snus since Lucky Strike Bold to really make me excited. The portions are super comfortable, ultra-wet and have a cool pseudo-threaded design at the seam. The container is really comfortable sitting in your back pocket and the label is simple and classy.

The flavor of Jägarpris may be a touchy subject for some of you. I’m one of the three guys in the world that liked Level snus, which was sadly discontinued some time back. Level has a bad rep on most of the snus forums, but I could never understand why. It was reminiscent of General’s traditional bergamot, salt and citrus flavor, but the citrus was tweaked just a tiny bit and the salt & pepper spiciness was way more in-your-face than General. It never got bitter on me, even if I had it in for an hour. Best of all, Level was 2.49 a can when most name brand snus was 3.39 a tin. About the only thing I didn’t like about Level was that it didn’t feature a catch lid, which really didn’t matter much to me anyway.

I don’t know if the folks at AG ever got a chance to try Level, but they have successfully cloned it, unwittingly or not. If you want to try something a little different, give it a shot. AG Snus is an up and comer in the international snus game right now, and I hope they sell enough units to stay in the game.

Their other offering, Blue Ocean, is not really my thing. It has the same flavor profile of Jägarpris, with the citrus note cranked up even further. The gimmick to Blue Ocean though is that it has that refreshing, menthol-like chill to it that some people like, but I personally can’t stand. It numbs my gums and makes me think I’m at the dentist getting ready to have oral surgery. But if you’re an American snuser that has been unable to locate Lucky Strike Nights, this is as close as you’ll legally be able to get.

Swedish Match have been some busy beavers lately. Click is an herbal snus along the same lines as Tre Ankare. It tastes like a VERY subdued Röda Lacket to me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but not interesting enough to make me flip my wig. It’s not bad, it’s just not distinguished enough for me to want to order every month.

What IS eye-catching about Click is it’s somewhat questionable marketing strategy. Swedish Match has been mum as to whether Click was created with the American market in mind, which would leave you to deduce that Click was geared towards European snusers. This would explain the hot pink label, which most American men would not be caught dead carrying on their person. (Note: some snusers claim that the label is in fact an off-red color. This may be true. It looks hot neon pink to me, and I’m not going to leave this casually sitting on the bartop for someone to walk by and get the wrong impression about me...)

Even more curious is the brand name. If Click is in fact a Euro brand, why would Swedish Match choose the same name as a popular brand of maskinolja (sexual lubricant) sold in Sweden? That would be like if RJR introduced an Astro Glide brand of Camel SNUS here in the US. (Thanks to Fredrik for pointing this out!)

All of these little facts add up to Click not being a brand I really want to support. Better luck next time, SM.

General Smooth is probably the best “new format” snus that SM has introduced yet. It’s the same old General, but with a mellowed flavor and a hint of honey. The can is top notch. If they made this in a Sterk, it would be a constant order for me.

Kardus 2010 was much better than 09. If you have the extra change, do yourself a favor and pick some up while you still can.

Gotlandssnus has really been focusing on the American market lately. However, their new Jakobssons snus products taste a little... off. It’s like someone took some General and poured some sugar in the can. Not too good.

V2 has also been burning the midnight oil. Their recent line of Offroad flavors in long cut loose have been their best yet. They’re still not perfect, but they’re a far cry from the Offroad of old. The main gripe I have with the new fruit flavors is that they all have that minty-fresh edge to them that I don’t like. I was really hoping their Apple would be an improved version of Skoal or Timberwolf Apple, but it didn’t ring true to my tastebuds.

I have yet to try their new Thunder Coola. I’m really looking forward to it, as I’m (again) one of the three people out there that like Thunder Berry.

Now... onto the bad.

Like an idiot, I ordered a can of Chaini Khaini Saffron. I felt bad because last year someone at Khaini contacted us about running an ad in the Ephemeris and I turned them down. Why? Because their snus sucks. So I figured I’d give them another chance (especially now that we kind of need advertisers...)

First, the red on the can is pretty nice. It’s different. But that’s the only positive thing I have to say about this garbage. When you open it, the smell hits you and knocks you down. The only way I can describe it is that when I was a kid, I used to go to the YMCA down the street and play Nintendo with “troubled” kids that were part of some community outreach program. This was after the gym closed and the sweaty, musky stench coming from the other side of the building was wretched.

Then the janitor would come in and wipe down all the equipment and mop the floor with some sort of cleaner that smelled like pizza grease. His mop water got stinkier and stinkier the more he mopped, until that scent permeated your nostrils and made you want to puke. Usually, this was right about the time that I would defeat Bowser in the last stage of Super Mario Bros 3, and as soon as the princess walked out, I was jetting out of the YMCA and racing home to change clothes and take a bath. If something stunk so bad that it made a 9 year old kid want to shower, then you know it stunk.

Well, that same YMCA janitor must work at Chaini Khaini now, because their Saffron snus tastes just like his old mop bucket smelled. DO NOT throw the can away after you open it, because even sitting in the trash can, it will stink up your entire house. You have been warned...

Not quite as horrible as the Saffron but still pretty bad is Oden’s 69 from GNT.  I really don’t know what to say, except for “what an apt brand name.” It makes me picture a sexual act between two nasty crack whores who haven’t bathed in a week. I don’t imagine this one being on the market for very long.

And that’s about it. That’s all the new snus I’ve tried recently. Stay tuned, as I hope to be back writing more SnusCentral articles once we get this issue finished.

Until then, good night and God bless.

RW “Mopbucket” Hubbard
Writing for SnusCentral.org

Read 4671 times Last modified on Wednesday, 14 October 2015 16:41

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