Tuesday, 20 April 2010 01:00

Those DAMNED ICELANDISTS!

The Long Volcanic Ash Plagued Wait for Home


I’m sick.  Sick and tired of those volcano-cloud apologists who won’t let us get on our damned planes and do the shit we’re meant to be doing.A Russian IL-96 pilot smirks at the volcano grounded planes as he prepares for takeoff

I mean, why can’t I get on the damned plane? The sky is blue, for Christ’s sake! The Germans have flown ten flights, the Dutch have flown ten flights, and the Russians aren’t even paying attention.  Maybe they have super-planes.  Why don’t we have super-planes?

I think the whole EU has gone Icelandist.  I mean, why does everyone believe them?  If the volcano is costing the airline industry $200m per day, why isn’t there a NATO force attacking the volcano?  Filling it up with jello or something?

Iceland has the population of Binghamton, NY.  Easy-peasy population re-lo and bomb the place away, filling the volcano with some kind of resin-y goo which will give us all a break, and maybe excite an engineer somewhere to produce an engine that doesn’t die from volcano ash, i.e. the Russian super-plane.

I mean, President Medvedev flew to Krakow for Kachynski’s funeral in his Russian (super-plane) IL-96 (irony!), while everyone else in their Boeings and Airbuses and armored cars (Angela Merkel) stayed put.

All because of the damned cloud.  Iceland’s a nice place.  It’s the Icelandists I can’t stand.

Surviving on vodka and peanuts,

ANDREW ROMEO

STILL waiting for a flight
Venting at SnusCENTRAL.org

Highly classified information rumored to be possessed by Interpol suggest that the recent volcanic eruptions in Iceland were not an accident. Instead, it was a carefully planned operation by the Anti-Swedish Snus Nazi's to disrupt shipments of live-saving Swedish Snus to former smokers and smokers in the United States and around the world!

Just minutes ago, the Voice of Russia reported the following: Half of all transatlantic flights have been cancelled due to Iceland’s volcano eruption, says Eurocontrol, - the European Organization for the Safety of Air Navigation, in an official statement. 6,000 flights have been cancelled across Europe. Almost the whole of the North Sea water area is covered in drifting ash from the Icelandic volcano with an unpronounceable name of Eyjafjallajoekull. The last time the volcano erupted was back in 1821.

From Sweden, Norway to the UK are reporting extensive flight delays because of the huge clouds of ash being shot into the atmosphere by Eyjafjallajoekull. SnusCIA officials received an emergency message from Moe UNZ, beleaguered Manager of SnusCentral.com in Sweden. His urgent text message drove the seriousness of situation home; It could be delays for customers when flights are cancelled. This apply both the post and UPS.

Moments later, SnusCIA Signal Intelligence intercepted tweet from Stockholm:  New information! All SAS flights will be cancelled until at least midnight April 17 (00.00) 2010.

 

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