Written by The SnusCENTRAL Intelligence Agency Sunday, 28 October 2012 00:00
EXCLUSIVE to SnusCENTRAL.org: Pre-Release Photos of Nordstrommen Jullsnus by Moe Unz 2012
Silkeborg, Denmark: SnusCIA Agents in Denmark have discovered that V2 Tobacco is planning to release a new Nordstommen snus offering for 4th quarter 2012. This new snus is named Moe Unz' Jullsnus by Nordstrommen. Jullesnus, not to be confused with Christmas snus or Julesnus, is a tribute to noted snus video journalist and SnusCentral YouTube Producer Julls.
In a clever twist, V2's Uber-Director of Marketing attached the Moe Unz name to this product. While Julls is famous in his own right because of the classic snus videos he produces for SnusCentral YouTube, attaching the Moe Unz name to any product guarantees instant success and market domination.
The SnusCIA Stockholm office tracked Moe Unz down at his favorite bar in Lidköping for comment. An obviously inebriated Unz had no memory of signing any licensing agreement with V2 Tobacco but stated that as long as a roll or two of the Nordstmmen Jullsnus showed up in the mail for him, he would consider it a fair trade. When pressed further, Moe simply passed out in a drunken stupor with a smile on his face.
No comment was available from Julls himself as of this writing. SnusCIA Agents in Los Vegas and Reno were still searching local casinos in an effort to find Julls. Below are the poorly photographed secret graphics a SnusCIA agent inside of V2 Tobacco obtained while Marc Vogel was reading the latest Bogatti car catalog in his massive corner office.
Considering that Marc rarely leaves his lavish office to visit the production floor anymore, the SnusCIA should have obtained much better quality graphics. This is especially true since brother Patrick Vogel is at this moment visiting the SnusCENTRAL Bunker somewhere in Texas, USA. With Patrick away, Marc doesn't even have to pretend to work right now.
The Agent in question will be forced to use Altria Marlboro snus for an entire week as punishment.
ABOUT Nordstömmen Snus: Nordstömmen is but one of the quality snus brands offered by V2 Tobacco, the largest snus manufacturer in Denmark Their other brands include Thunder Snus, Offroad Snus, Phantom Snus and BaccOff nicotine-free snus.
ABOUT Julls: We already told you who he is. Don't ask for his last name; he doesn't have one. Julls is a snus man of mystery.
ABOUT Moe Unz: It would take 100 pages to chronicle the exploits of Moe Unz, Manager of the SnusCentral.com Snus eStore. The legendary Unz family invented Swedish Snus in the late 1600's and are Swedish Snus Lords to this very day. The last known cans in existence of the most expensive snus ever created, Thunder Unz Extra Strong Snus, sold last year for 5,643 USD (for two cans and the engraved box).
ABOUT the SnusCentral Intelligence Agency (SnusCIA): Anything you don't already know is above your security clearance.
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