Friday, September 03, 2010
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The World According to Feck

Obama Hears a Help

Obama Hears a “Help!”

A satirical poem by R.R. Hubbard

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)


On the fifteenth of May, in the County of Cook,
Swimming in the green pool of money he took,
He was splashing…concocting more ploys …
When Barack Obama heard a small noise.

Obama stopped splashing. He looked towards the sound.
“That’s funny,” thought Barry. “There’s no one around.”
Then he heard it again! Just a very faint yelp
As if some tiny person were calling for help.
“I’ll help you,” said Obama. “But who are you? Where?”
He looked and he looked. He could see nothing there
But a small speck of dust blowing past though the air.

“I say!” murmured Barry. “I’ve never heard tell
Of a small speck of dust that is able to yell.
So you know what I think?…Why, I think that there must
Be some sort of nation on that small speck of dust!
Some sort of a country of very small size,
too small to be seen by a tyrant's brown eyes…

“…some poor little republic shaking with fear
That he’ll blow in the pool! He has no way to steer!
I’ll just have to crush him. Because, after all,
A nation's a nuisance, no matter how small.”

Read more: Obama Hears a Help

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Mayor Michael Bloomberg: The Reincarnation of Wilhelmus Kieft

Upon hearing the news of New York City's ban on flavored tobacco products, I was immediately reminded of the tale of Wilhelmus Kieft, one of the first governors of what would later become New York State.

Wilhelmus Kieft (also known as Willem Kieft) was, like Bloomberg, a privileged lad who sailed to the lofty ranks of provincial leadership on the strength of his own family's fortune. Like Bloomberg, Kieft also switched political allegiances like some people swap clothing. Whichever party seemed particularly suited towards keeping his cash flow uninterrupted, Kieft belonged to. And also like Bloomberg, Kieft had strong socialist tendencies. The two men share an almost identical habit of banning whatever activities that they personally dislike. This article examines some of those prohibitions, and like all articles I write for SnusCENTRAL.org, the emphasis is on tobacco.

Read more: Mayor Michael Bloomberg: The Reincarnation of Wilhelmus Kieft

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Night Riders and Hillbillies: The Kentucky Tobacco War

With all the recent legislation that aims to prohibit the use of tobacco among adult consumers, we often forget about the people caught in the middle: the tobacco farmer. The American tobacco farmer is the first link in the chain that stretches from the planted seed to the hand-delivered package that arrives on our doorsteps or the sealed container that we buy at the convenience store.

While the tobacco companies and the anti-tobacco coalitions make money hand over fist regardless of outside circumstances, the farmer is only as good as his crop. His laurels rest on what he can produce today, and what he can produce tomorrow.

A little over a hundred years ago, a literal war was fought in the tobacco growing hills of southwestern Kentucky and northern Tennessee, an area known as the "Black Patch". All sides that participated have been viewed equally as heroes or villains, depending on who is telling the tale. I set out with this article to be as objective as possible, and to paint the events as they happened.

The ramifications of the war are still resonant today, but many people are unaware of this curious (and disturbing) chapter in American history. Let's look back at what became known as the Black Patch War of 1906.

Read more: Night Riders and Hillbillies: The Kentucky Tobacco War

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Tobacco, the American Revolutions of 1776.....and 2010?

R.R. "Feck" HubbardThe "Age of Enlightenment" was a time in world history that was characterized by massive revolutions in thought, government, religion, arts, science, economics, and humanity. Beginning roughly with the publications of philosopher René Descartes philosophical and mathematical rationalizations of the 1630's, and ending with the French Revolution in 1789, the movement was a general call to arms from a world escaping the "dark ages" of European Middle History.

The movement could best be summarized by one word: "rebellion". The people questioned, and subsequently rejected, the authority of their kings and governments. The "rationalists" (as they were known) pondered the authority of the Church in presiding over God's laws. Science was elevated into something beyond the blasphemous alchemy that it was viewed as previously. Philosophy was seen as something important and potentially dangerous, and not just as something that homosexual poets wrote to impress one another. The poor rebelled against the rich ruling class, and the "bourgeois" were put to death in violent, public coups.

Read more: Tobacco, the American Revolutions of 1776.....and 2010?

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Forget Camel SNUS: The REAL History of Snus in America

QUESTION: what do Red Seal American Snuff and Röda Lacket Swedish Snus have in common?  ANSWER: At one time, they were one and the same!

RedSeal and Roda Lacket: The missing link in Swedish to American SnusTo kick off my new column, I wanted to take a look over the course of the next couple of articles at the long history of snus in America. That's right- snus in America. You may be surprised to learn that snus has been here almost as long as it has been in Sweden, and it didn't just pop up overnight when RJR dropped the Camel SNUS bomb. The Swedes have been immigrating here, off and on, steadily for the last two hundred years, and they've always brought their snus with them.

Let's flash back a bit to my last article, American Moist Snuff versus Swedish Snus. In it, I outlined the difference between snus and dip, with a focus on Copenhagen and Ettan, which were both introduced in 1822. If you'll recall, Copenhagen was the first "dipping" tobacco manufactured in this country. It was derived from an old Scandinavian snus recipe. Unlike American dry snuff, the moisture content was pretty high in Copenhagen. The Swedes preferred their snuff "wet" since they wadded it up and put it under their lip.

 

Read more: Forget Camel SNUS: The REAL History of Snus in America

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